A fake stone

Kay Bergdahl, a display designer, or "flairista," at the gift shop and snack bar of the Dan Quayle Museum in Huntington, Indiana, writes:

Dear Grammer Genious,

What is apartite? Is it like tourmaline, or cubic zirconium? My boyfriend Zack says there used to be lots of apartite in South Africa but nowadays there is none left, or something. I think maybe he is just trying to not get me any. Do you think he is just trying to make excuses for not getting me the jewlery that I need? Why can't they just reopen the mines?  Sometimes he laughs at me for no reason. 

Kay Bergdahl
Main Flairista, Dan Quayle Museum.

Dear Miss Bergdahl,

It's not in the wikipedia, so I can't think what he could be talking about. It sounds like he probaby just made it up.

The Grammer Genious

NO SPELLING, I said!

MacKenzie Tandaleo Yoder, Second Assistant Head Cheerleader and treasurer of the junior class at Grover Norquist High School in Provo, Utah, writes:

Dear Grammer Genious,

How do you spell syzygy? Obviously that can't be right.

Signed, MacKenzie 

Dear MacKenzie,

I told you and told you to not ask me spelling questions. But besides, I think your cat must have walked on your keyboard. Whatever word it was that you were asking about came out as just a jumble of letters. Write to me again.

The Grammer Genious