Off the top of my head (Tah-daaah!)

Larry Fortensky, an assistant therapist at the Betty Ford Center in Rancho Mirage California, writes:

Dear Grammer Genious,

I’m having a really contentious argument with a patient. He’s real real famous but I can’t tell you who he is. What is the difference between macadam and tarmac?

- Signed, Larry Fortensky

Dear Mr. Fortensky,

Why do people keep asking me for information that they could easily get from the Internet?

But never mind, in this case I’m pretty sure I can answer your question without looking anything up. I’m pretty sure  “Tarmac” was a famous late-nineteenth-century magician and escape artist. I think they made some movie about him lately, if I’m not mistaken. And Macadam of course was the third president of the United States. No, the fourth. No, I’m pretty sure it was the third.

Anyway I didn’t mean to discourage any of you out there from asking questions, because otherwise how will you ever learn anything?

- The Grammer Genious