English English

Miss Pippa Pennybucket, a bank executive and shepherdess of Nether Wallop, Hampshire, UK, writes:

Dear Grammer Genious,

I would appreciate an American perspective on this issue, since England long ago passed the linguistic torch to your side of the Atlantic, as we here in England admit unanimously. We are such a tiny minority in the English-speaking world that our opinions on the language are now irrelevant, and we no longer feel confident in our use of English, especially down here in Hampshire, "the Alabama of England."

Here is the issue: when one says that one is going to seed the lawn, one means that seeds will be deposited into the lawn. But when one says that one will seed the grapes, one means that the seeds will be taken out.

How can a single verb have two meanings that are utterly at odds with one another?  Thank you very much for your attention to this matter.

Yours, Pippa Pennybucket 

Nether Wallop, Locks Heath, Chandler's Ford, Bishopstoke, Hampshire, UK

Dear Pippa,

Thanks for the compliments -- um, I guess. 

I'm sorry, but your "issue" is just a dumb question and I'm not going to waste time on it. Besides, I think you are making fun of me.

The Grammer Genious