German beer -- eeuw eeuw

Fräulein Gudrun Schneck, the severe, elderly librarian at the drab, unused Goethe Institute in downtown Cincinnati, Ohio, writes:

Lieber Herr Doktor Genious,


I write to you because your famousness for love and Knowledge of German peoples.


Is coming in here to German library of Goethe Institute one man, I feel he is a Polish, is saying he is do research for invention of the beer. Iss very German, the beer, no?  But this one bold dummkopf Polish man he is say the beer it was invention by Poland people was.  Is no true, no? Poland peoples know not to make the Beer, no? The Poland Beer has the taste of the Dischwasser. Please to say me what I to say to this Dummkopf.
Viele Grüße, 
Gudrun


Dear Fräulein Schneck.
Beer was invented in Milwaukee. Everybody knows that. Why are you foreigners always making everything up?

Signed, The Grammer Genious