A bright future for a young lad!

Mrs. Judy Lindquist, a housewife of Seattle Washington, writes:

Dear Grammer Genious,

Our family has an issue. We are feeling very happy and lucky right now, but still we have this issue, maybe.

Ok here’s the thing. We have only this one child, Jason, and of course we are very anxious for him to have everything that America has to offer a young man, so that he can get ahead in life. For many years, my husband Thorvald and I have been working behind the scenes to get Jason accepted into the Ballard Motorcycle Club, a local and very prestigious band of motorcycle toughs in Ballard. They practically own Ballard, and woe betide you if you get on their bad side. So of course we wanted Jason to get into that club.

Well, last month he was accepted, and we were delighted, but here’s the thing. As part of the initiation he was supposed to get the words “BORN TO LOSE” tattooed across his forehead in purple. The thing is, he was told to report to the gang’s tattoo guy who lives in his car near the Urban Rest Stop in Ballard, so Jason sat in the back seat for the tattooing and the guy seemed preoccupied, and he kept going around to the front seat to noodle on his guitar, and his chick this Gothic kinda girl kept coming in and out and doing lines and generally distracting everybody, and well the bottom line is that the words on Jason’s forehead aren’t exactly in a straight line, and they say “BORN TOO LOOSE”. As soon as Thorvald and I saw it, we looked at each other and we both said at the same time, “The Grammer Genious!” So we are writing to you and what we want to know is, is this a big deal, or not? Should we be concerned? Should we do anything about it?

Signed, Mrs. Thorvald Lindquist, Seattle, WA

Dear Mrs. Lindquist,

Congratulations on launching your son into a bright future! I wouldn’t worry about the tattoo wording. You’re going to have to stop helicoptering over the lad now, since he is out and on his way. The important thing is that he got in, and his life path is now secure. You and your husband should just relax and savor the satisfaction of a parenting task well done!