Illogic

Dr. Deepak Chaturvedi, adjunct professor of horticultural sciences at Florida State University, writes:

Dear Grammer Genious,

At my university I am leading research in the field of enzyme inhibition of the fungus Venturia inaequalis spilocaea in citrus and apple root stock. The anamorphs are remarkably dichotomous between the two plant types, and I have written three learned treatises on the topic, all of which have been mysteriously rejected by the Proceedings of the American Society of Horticultural Science, this country’s journal of record.

No reasons are given for the rejections, except to say that my “overall intent is impossible.” I cannot understand this, and suspect that there must be some underlying linguistic or cultural aspect to the issue of which I am unaware (I am from India), and I hope that you might cast some light on this issue.

- Yours, Dr. Deepak Chaturvedi

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Dear Dr. Chaturvedi,

Than you for enclosing copies of your treatises, all of which I read closely and enjoyed immensely, especially “Overwintering of the anamorph of Venturia inaequalis in orange and apple buds, and the viability of conidia as affected by discontinuous wetting.” I read them all while relaxing at the beach.

The reason for all of those rejections is simple: You are attempting to compare apples and oranges. In English-speaking countries, that cannot be done, because it is illogical.

- The Grammer Genious