Kilometers

Ms. Stormi McIlhenny, a physical trainer and masseuse at the Final Honeymoon Resort & Spa in Boca Mojada FL, writes:

Dear Grammer Genious,

Would you settle a bar argument? My best friend Brandi and me are going to Mexico next month, where they have kilometers, and Brandi bets me that the word kilometer should be pronounced KILL-ometer, with the accent at the beginning. She said she heard that on the olympics. She says it’s what Bob Kosta says. I say it should be kil-LAH-meter, the same as like in speedometer and odometer. KILL-ometer sounds like counting dead victims or something. Whose right? A bottle of TGI Friday’s Mudslide On the Rocks is riding on this, so be a cool guy and say I’m right! :-)

- Stormi

Dear Ms. Stormi,

Sorry, but your friend Brandi is right. Speedometers and odometers are devices, not units of measure like centimeters and millimeters – and KILL-ometers.

It’s true that a lot of people say kil-LAH-meters, but those people are just making a wry joke, like when people say “accent on the wrong syl-LAH-ble.” They’re just having a little fun with the word, is all. But it’s surprising how many people (like you) are so naïve or thick that they can’t recognize a joke when they hear it.

Now, take a wad of massage-oily dollar bills out of your fake Gucci bag and go buy Brandi that bottle of TGI Friday’s Mudslide On the Rocks. (Eeuw)

-The Grammer Genious