Pre-Gaga

Kaiytlyyne Wojciechowski, an 8^th grader at Gene Stratton Porter Middle School in Decatur Indiana, writes:

Dear Grammer Genious,

My mom is the biggest effing B-word in the world. She’s always trying to boss me and controll me and quiz me, and when I finally tell her off and to get out of my stuff, she always says that I am a “pre-madonna.” What is a “pre-madonna”?

- Signed, Kaiytlyyne

Dear Kaiytlyyne,

I’ve never heard of anything that sounds like that, but she probably meant that you are on your way to becoming a rock star like Madonna. You wouldn’t know about Madonna because she was from back in your parents’ time. She was sort of like Lady Gaga only not as good.

Anyway, it sounds to me that your mom is complimenting you on your spunkiness, so keep doing exactly what you’re doing, and write to me again after you’re famous.

- The Grammer Genious