Dr. Carl Switzer, avuncular bald-headed expert on marital relationships, emotions, and feelings, and the host of the nationally famous men’s advice show “The Dr. Carl Show” on ESPN, writes:
Dear Grammer Genious,
Which is right, “my wife and I” or “my wife and me”?
This is driving me crazy. I know there are certain rules, but when I am on the air on my nationally known TV program speaking extemporaneously, it’s hard for me to figure out which one to say when I come up against the phrase all of a sudden in a long, insightful, and thoughtfully complex sentence full of wisdom. That tends to make me seem to be less than commanding and omniscient about the topic at hand.
Please tell me the rules. I know it has something to do with a “direct object” or some such concept.
Dear Dr. Carl,
You should trust your instincts on this one. Doesn’t “my wife and me” sound rather abrupt and common? It sounds sort of like “Him and me’s goin’ fishin’” and such colloquialisms as that, to say nothing of the disrespect it betrays toward your wife.
On the other hand, “my wife and I” sounds more elegant, and will always lend a tone of gentility to any sentence. “The police broke into our home meth lab and arrested my wife and I.” “Google Street View caught my wife and I rooting through a dumpster.” You get the idea.
On another topic, I want take this opportunity to personally thank you for saving my marriage when I phoned your show fourteen years ago following my wife and I’s explosive domestic incident involving the Datsun pickup truck and the pet ferret, which I won’t go into here because it’s too personal. But I’m sure you remember it.
- The Grammer Genious
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