A hare's breath

Ms. Laura Ingraham, a right-wing radio talker who is usually put on the air in the middle of the night on small AM radio stations in the more goober areas of the country, writes:
 

Dear Grammer Genious,

I am a public person being listened to by millions of people but I feel so stupid much of the time, because I don’t really know the meaning of the random stuff that I say between the commercials for colon cleansing products and schemes for buying gold to bury in your back yard. I generally feel pretty dumb. Like for instance, I was wondering today why people say “missed by a hare’s breath,” and “wet our appetites,” and stuff?

Signed, Laura Ingraham

Dear Ms. Ingraham,

Most expression like those are pretty self-explanatory if you stop to think about it. Rabbits hardly breathe at all, so “missed it by a hare’s breath” means missed by a very small amount.“Wet our appetites” probably comes from having a drink before dinner, to get your mouth all wet and make it ready for food.

The important thing is not to appear to be shy or ignorant.  Don't let them catch on. Just keep saying random stuff.

- The Grammer Genious